She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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