I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
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My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
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words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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