What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
