If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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