She just used a chaser for red wine.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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