Don't you send me to vm
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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