some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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