...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
