I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
