So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
