ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
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The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
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Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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