I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
