No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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