That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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