My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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