How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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