puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
