Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
