420 ftw
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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