every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
