So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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