So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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