I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
