it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
