The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
