I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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