brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
