I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
This is classic penis vs brain.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
