SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
