when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
