I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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