guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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