i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize