yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
