Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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