You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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