Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
