you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
