Sponge bath it is.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
