i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
