So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
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He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
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He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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