dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
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I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
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My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize