she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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