wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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