i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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