Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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