when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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