the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We have so much sex to catch up on
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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