i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
