I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
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