Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You are the jesus of drinking
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
