I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
