Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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