Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize