when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
