Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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