I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
as a side note pls kill me
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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